Meaning of Life

In light of recent suicide cases in the city, we were discussing meaning of life in the 21^st century and our dwindling inherent values. In one word, we were talking about Absurdism. I may sound like an intellectual but it was a normal, lighthearted conversation over tea among our family and friends. Gradually the discussion became vibrant and intense. Suddenly Oishik joined us from the other room. As soon as he entered, the whisper around was – “Our Dadu (elderly person) has arrived”. We stopped the discussion. But he naively asked – “What are you discussing?” Not sure if he overheard anything.

His Mum-mum said – “Nothing.”

He was about to leave, when I mentioned – “We were discussing meaning of life”. I knew he had something to say.

He quipped - “I know. Life means Z-Bangla”. We burst into laughter hearing his 180 degree comment. I would like to add here that “Jeeban mane Z-Bangla” (Life means Z-Bangla) is a tagline of a popular Bengali TV channel. Oishik participated in one of their well-known programs, “Sa Re Ga Ma Pa”.

He continued

–     “To Mum-mum, life means being the best”. His Mum-mum would always say – “Be the best” (which is Platonism).

-      “To Dad-dad, life means being happy”. I do not think I have said anything in that line to him. But I do believe in Aristotelianism. Hearing this, everyone doubted his age.

Then the inevitable question from everyone – “What life means to you?”

He said – “Life means power”.

We looked at each other. Did he know what he was saying? Is it the mantra of 21^st Century? Considering his love for music, I thought he would say something different, like – “Life means singing a song”. So I asked – “Why?”

It was the final blow to tickle our funny bone and knock us down on the floor – “Because, Jeevan (G.One) killed Raavan (Ra.One).”

Sleeping Pills

Rich is 6+. But still, at night, he will retire only when his Mum-Mum strokes his back. Old habits die hard. Few days ago, I was trying to make him sleep by telling stories and massaging his back. These days I seldom get such opportunity. After twenty minutes of sincere effort, I retired. I dosed-off. I was suddenly awakened by a slap on my wrist, accompanied with the sound “Dad-DaaaaaD”. Sudden change in my state made me angry. I declared loudly – “Enough! I can no longer massage. Close your eyes and try to sleep by yourself.”

Rich was spontaneous to reply – “I cannot sleep without the pats from Mum-Mum.”

I was about to respond - “What I was doing then for last twenty minutes?” But then I checked myself and responded - “What do you mean?”

He replied - “It is like your pills without which you do not get sleep”.

For last few months I am taking pills every night as my triglyceride level was detected very high. When the triglyceride level rises, I spend sleepless night due to severe leg pain. I digested his heavy words but did not lower my voice

-          “You cannot expect your Mum-Mum to be beside you always”.

His answer was ready

-          “I will take her wherever I go”

-          “We are not going to be here forever”.

This time he was quicker and more spontaneous

-          “I shall never sleep when Mum-mum becomes star”

It was another sleepless night for me.

How can the mystery behind death and birth be solved?

Two months back my grandfather-in-law died. Oishik, unavoidably, observed all rituals very closely. The incidents left a strong impression on his mind. After that he was very inquisitive about after-death facts. He was earlier told that we become stars after death. He started questioning – “Which star is Carrom-Dadu (Oishik used to call my grandfather-in-law Carrom-Dadu as he used to shadow-practice carrom constantly with his two-fingers)?”;“How we become stars?”; “Who became the Sun?” blah-blah. Most of the cases we could escape saying – “Not sure”. One day he told us that we were wrong. His friend Ishan told him that we become ghosts after death. Ishan came to know that from his grand-parents. I had to admit – “It is true that we do not become stars after death. At the same time I do not believe in ghost as I have never faced them. What happens after death is a real mystery. Some people believe that we are reborn.” Oishik thought for a while and said – “You know Dad-Dad, the mystery will be resolved if we come to know how the babies end up in their mothers’ stomach”. I held back my laugh and reacted elatedly – “You are absolutely right!”

Mama’s Boy

Oishik is completely a Mama’s boy. He will favor his mother in all circumstances. Few days ago, I came from gym and took him in my arms. Then I asked him – ‘Tell me who is stronger? Mum-Mum or Dad-Dad?” His immediate answer was Mum-Mum.
I put him down on the bed and showed him my muscles – “C’mon you cannot be so unfair. See my muscles.”
Oishik replied with a smile – “Yes. You have stronger muscles but a weaker brain.”

The future’s not ours to see

In the month of June we went to Puri. It was not the best time to visit Puri. But we had a very good time. We always felt Puri can be visited any time of the year because as soon as you stand beside the sea you forget about time. We took the train from Howrah. The departure time was 8:50 pm. We planned to leave at 7 pm from home. Before that I had to pick Rich from music class. Generally his class continues till 7 pm. But we decided that I would pick them by 6:30 pm. His Mum-Mum accompanies him to the music class. I went to pick them on time. But they were late for 15 minutes. They came out from class at 6:45 pm. I was bit upset as this would delay the whole plan. My disappointment was evident on my face and in my words. We had to go to home, grab some food, pick up the luggage before heading towards the station. As soon as we started from the Guruji's house, it started raining heavily along thunderstorm. I knew that the rain would cause water-logging, traffic jam and make the drive longer. I was worried and blaming it on my wife as incessantly as the rain and as loudly as the thunderstorm. Suddenly Rich put an end to it saying – “You know Dad-Dad, the future’s not ours to see. How Mum-Mum would know that it would rain. Whatever will be will be.” Rich loves the song “Que sera sera” by Doris Day. I was about to mention that – “Yes, you cannot see the future but you can anticipate and plan.”  But I kept mum thinking if everything goes as per plan, life would be too boring. We got into the train at 8:45 pm. We had to run with the luggage.

Diesel vs Petrol

This January I bought Ford Figo diesel version. I exchanged my old Maruti 800. Before that I always thought nobody loves a machine. 

This summer was pretty hot. AC is no longer a luxury – it is a necessity. We have a window AC in the bed room and a split AC in the dining. The window AC is the aged one – bit noisy but works without complain. One day, it was bed time for RIch. I was trying to make him sleep. After some time I thought that he had fallen asleep. When i just rose to leave, he opened his eyes and said –

“You know Dad-Dad, window AC runs with diesel and split AC with petrol”

Punishing Playfully

Much has been written and talked over caning or punishing the student. I am vehemently against any kind of physical punishment because I know (form my own experience) it hurts and hardly helps. I asked Rich what kind of punishment they get for their wrong-doing.

He said – “He / she is asked to sit outside”

-          “You mean - asked to sit, instead of stand, outside the class?”

-          “No, outside the play ground”

-          “What?”

-          “He is not allowed to play. He is asked to sit on the mat and watch”

I felt that it was definitely a good idea. But still difficult to judge what is right or wrong for a child. Every child is different. You cannot have the same prescription for all.

Are we going back?

I was tied up for last few months. Need some time to digitize my fond memories as a Dad-Dad. This was about three and half months ago. My father had to undergo a surgery. We were returning from the Apollo hospital. We all were coming back by the bumpy, dilapidated bypass road after visiting my father. Recently the road has been repaired. I was driving. Rich was sitting beside me. Suddenly he said – “Are we going back?”

I said – “Of course not now. Can’t you recognize the road?” I thought that he might be bit upset as he was not allowed inside of the hospital.

He said – “Can you drive bit slow? Accident can happen anytime. It seems that we'll end up in Apollo”

I was driving at around 50km/hr. But potholed road made it worse. Also I definitely did not have any control on others. I started laughing. Immediately slowed down further and planted a kiss on his forehead. My wife, brother and sister-in-law, who were sitting behind, were left inquisitive. When Rich explained they also started laughing and planted their share of kiss. It is very true - an accident can change the direction of your life. Bypass was / still is the most accident-prone road in the city. May be that is one of the many reasons why most of the hospitals are near / beside the bypass.

First Poem

Today when we were reading out poems, Rich came up with his poem – his first poem

ঐশিক যখন স্কুলে যায়

বাবাও তখন অফিসে যায়

মা বাড়িতে বসে থাকে অপেক্ষায়।।